Tips for keeping your cool around a crying baby

It’s 2 a.m. and cries from the room next door begin again for the third time tonight. You have tried everything but nothing seems to work. You are at the end of your rope and pleading for just a few moments of sleep before you have to settle into another long, stressful day. Will the crying ever stop?

Crying is a normal part of an infant’s everyday life. In fact, most babies cry two to three hours every day as a way to communicate with their caregivers. Many infants cry because they are hungry, sick, hot, cold, tired, in pain or in need of a diaper change. Up to 30 percent of otherwise healthy infants have colic, a condition defined as excessive crying that can be very loud and last for many hours each day.
 
It is common for parents and caregivers to become frustrated when caring for a crying infant. Frustration often grows during times of stress or if a parent or caregiver tries to comfort a crying child without success. While frustration is a normal emotion, it is important to manage it in a healthy, safe way.
 
Here are a few tips to help you keep your cool when the crying just won’t stop:
 
• Put the child in a safe, secure place, such as a crib, and leave the room. Give yourself space to cool down.
 
• Pick up the phone and call a friend, neighbor, relative or parent helpline. In many cases, these people will be willing to come to your home and offer help. If that is not the case, just talking to another adult can help calm your nerves.
 
• Walk with or carry the child to a trusted neighbor’s home and ask for help.

• Never shake or harm the baby in any way. Each year, more than 1,000 infants in the United States experience severe or fatal head trauma at the hands of an abusive caregiver. The kids who survive this abuse often suffer from brain damage, loss of sight or hearing, paralysis, seizures and learning disabilities.
 
• Learn breathing techniques to help calm yourself.  Breathing deeply and slowly can help you calm down. Practice deep, slow breathing when you are not in a stressful situation so that when your baby's cries frustrate you, you know how to calm yourself.
 
For your child’s safety, it is important to keep an eye on his or her caregivers. If you know someone who has a hard time managing anger or who handles children roughly, do not put your child in his or her care. If your caregiver reports a lot of frustration with your child or has a hard time dealing with your child’s crying, listen and make other plans for your child’s care.
 
Jennifer Hammel is the director of Children’s Hospital and Health System’s Child Abuse Prevention Fund.

FAST FACT: April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. Learn how you can keep kids safe and families strong by visiting www.blueribbonsonline.org.

Since the advent of the Internet, children have been able to expand their horizons beyond outdated encyclopedias and textbooks into new worlds. Now, kids can use the World Wide Web to play interactive educational games and learn about everything from puppy dogs to the Great Wall of China. But, due to the size of cyberspace and popular tools like instant messaging and social networking sites, children have become vulnerable targets for predators.

An estimated one in seven children ages 10-17 have been sexually solicited online. Fortunately, these solicitations easily can be avoided with the help of a parent. Here are a few ways parents can keep their kids safe while surfing the net:
•    Keep the family computer in a common area of the house where you can monitor your child’s Internet activities.
•    Invest in filtering software for your family’s computer.  This software enables parents to block their kids from visiting sites that are inappropriate.
•    Invest in monitoring software for your family’s computer. This software secretly records everything a child does on the computer, by taking screen shots of the monitor every few seconds.  That information is stored in an attachment and e-mailed to mom or dad for review.
•    Explain to your children that they should not place any personal information about themselves on the Internet. That includes their name, address, phone number, name of their school and school mascot. Children can be easily tracked down when this kind of personal and public information is shared.
•    Explain to your children the importance of not sharing their pictures on the Internet.
•    Maintain access to your child’s online account and randomly check his or her e-mail.

Parents also should watch for signs that their child may have fallen prey to an Internet predator:
•    Spending an unusually long amount of time on the Internet.
•    Using the Internet late at night when parents are asleep.
•    Losing interest in extracurricular activities.
•    Spending less time and energy on homework.
•    Minimizing the computer screen or turning off the computer when a family member walks into the room.
•    Exhibiting a short temper.
•    Using inappropriate language.

If your child has become a victim of an Internet predator, call local law enforcement or reporting the incident to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

For more information about safe Internet usage, visit capfund.org or call the Child Abuse Prevention Fund at (414) 266-6300.

Jennifer Hammel is director of the Child Abuse Prevention Fund, a special fund-raising initiative of Children's Hospital and Health System. To learn more, visit www.capfund.org. Children’s Hospital and Health System is the region’s only independent health care system dedicated solely to the health and well-being of children. Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin, the health system’s flagship member, is recognized as one of the leading pediatric health care centers in the United States. For more information visit www.chw.org.